So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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