Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
