Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Actions speak louder than pants.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
