Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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