im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
