I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
