I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
