Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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