I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
