Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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