Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
