I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
