Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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