What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
