At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
