You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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