I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
