I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
