The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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