everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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