Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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