New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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