so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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