C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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