He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
