so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
