My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize