i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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