yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
