i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
