talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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