Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
