He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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