I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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