we need to drink 2009 down the drain
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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