He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
