i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
