I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
So here I am, sexting at work.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
