I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
