i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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