Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
