I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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