office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
