batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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