Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
