You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
