wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
