alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
