Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
