It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
