I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
