my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
nutella sex= disaster
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
