i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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