It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
