I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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