he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
