sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
