One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize